Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
