it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize