i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize