Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
