And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There r osticjed everywhere
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
