You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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