Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We were destined to go to rehab together
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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