my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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