Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
