bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
