direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my being single is dangerous.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
