So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
