Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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