do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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