Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
All I want is dick and wine.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
