He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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