I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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