Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
