WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
