moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
