operation have a gay friend backfired
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
