you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
