cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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