it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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