I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dick very happy bro
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
