I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
