If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
