Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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