Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
