just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
