We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have fence marks all over my body
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
