If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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