I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
