I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Randomize
