PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
