So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
