he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
