I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I look better un-naked...
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
