he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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