Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It was like giving head to a cactus.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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