we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
