That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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