If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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