Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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