White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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