U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize