her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
