She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I supernannyed him into submission
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
