Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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