Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
