another moral hangover. fuck.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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