Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
