so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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