I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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