Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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