my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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