Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
