so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
