Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
