i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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