Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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