this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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