Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
