You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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