HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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