you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize