I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
