apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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