my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
