Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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