Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
