he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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