just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
