I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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