So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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